The Benefits of Aging

| JULY NEWSLETTER | monthly writing prompts & inspiration

Hello friend,

I hope this newsletter finds you well, whether you’re shivering through Australia’s unusually cold winter or breaking a sweat in the Northern hemisphere.

I am in Germany enjoying that rare thing, a hot summer’s day!

July has been a busy month. We held a retreat in Bali (you can read about it here on Edwina’s blog) and I turned 61 on the last day of the retreat.

It’s funny, but the older I get the less I worry about aging. Turning 35 was a tad scary, because it meant finally having to live like a grown up. 45 was another difficult milestone. I was never going to have children. Turning 50 seemed scary, but really it was an excuse to have a great party and to think about living life in new ways.

At 60 I had another great party, published a book and founded a company (Transformational Writing Retreats Pty. Ltd.) with my friend and writing buddy Edwina Shaw.

It feels very grown up to be a company director. To celebrate we’re giving our newsletter subscribers a 10% discount on Blissful Bali (23 - 29, June 2025) and Heavenly Hoi An (10 - 16 February, 2025) if you sign up before August 7.

We’re hoping to launch our new retreat website in August. For now, sign up is happening over here. If you sign up before August 7, we’ll automatically apply a 10% discount to your booking.

In Bali I had the opportunity to catch up with the Ubud-based writer Cat Wheeler who for many years used to write a column for the local expat newspaper. The best of her columns are collected in two witty and wise books about expat life in Bali.

We included the second volume, Retired, Rewired: Living Without Adult Supervision in Bali, in the welcome pack for our guests because it’s a great masterclass on voice and personal essay.

And because it’s a great read about growing older in a different culture within a closely knit community of expatriates who embrace life fearlessly and often eccentrically.

As usual, we chatted about the benefits of aging and as usual we agreed that aging is liberating.

Aging is liberating

I know, it sounds counter-intuitive. Especially since the first thing you’ll notice as a woman over fifty is that you are invisible. Men no longer look at you and millennials will always believe that they’re smarter than you.

But here’s the secret. Knowing that your time is slowly running out, frees us from the need to please others. Aging teaches us, by hook or by crook, that there is no point in believing that you’ll ever live up to the expectations of others. As we age, we learn to pay attention to what really matters. It’s no longer about the outside, about looks and appearances, it’s about what happens on the inside.

Aging is empowering

And here’s another interesting fact. Aging is supremly empowering. As we age, we cross many watersheds. We stumble, we fall and we learn to pick ourselves up again. We pass through the fire and we rise from the ashes, and as we do, we grow wiser, more resilient and we become fearless.

I find there’s an incredible sense of freedom in acknowledging that the clock is ticking. Once you’re over fifty, or sixty, you can no longer live in denial. If you want to see your dreams fly, you need to chase them now. I watched my parents bury their dreams and I vowed to reach for mine, no matter what.

It took me until the age of sixty to finally publish my first non-academic book, fullfiling my childhood dream. I let a lot of time slip by carrying that dream in my head, and in my heart, but once that big birthday loomed, I grew fearless and determined.

I joined a fitness group, I became a committed early bird, I wrote draft after draft, even when I didn’t feel like it and I started to believe in myself…and the universe took notice and paired me with my preferred publisher—on the first day of last year’s Bali retreat last year, clearly a good sign!

Preview of our new website photos

Turning sixty felt like an open invitation to claim my second act (or is it my third?). Like any good story, life is made up of several acts. How many of us get it right in the first act? We marry the wrong person, we get stuck in a career that isn’t fulfilling, we outgrow our goals and partners.

The good news is, getting older means there is a second act. And we get to write it.  Suddenly everything is possible again.

How do you feel about aging? Here are some writing prompts to help you find out.

“Why are we so obsessed with what we lose as we age, and unclear about what we gain?”

– Victor Frankl

I feel so much more comfortable with who I am today than at any other age. Sure, I had more energy and somehow time seemed to be passing more slowly when I was younger, but I’ve gained a better understanding of who I am and what I need in order to be happy. Aging gracefully is a privilege and a choice. We loose and we gain.

What have you gained with age?

Set a timer for five minutes and make a list, an inventory of your thoughts and feelings around aging.

I love making lists, both to organise my day and to get into the writing flow. Lists allow us to brainstorm, letting ideas and thoughts spill onto the page without the inner critic getting a word in. There’s always something that will spark a story.

Take the item on your list that most speaks to you, or better still, the thing that you’re most afraid of, then freewrite for another 7-10 minutes and dig deep.

You can return to this prompt every year and take note of what changes. It makes for a great birthday prompt!

You can use this guided meditation to help you get into the flow.

Here’s another good writing prompt to explore aging:

“Spring passes and one remembers one's innocence.
Summer passes and one remembers one's exuberance.
Autumn passes and one remembers one's reverence.
Winter passes and one remembers one's perseverance.”
― Yoko Ono

Write your own little poem about the seasons of life. Add as many stanzas as you like.

Share in the comments what came up for you and help me get the conversation started!

Aging can be an invitation to re-connect with your creativity

How many of us buried our creativity when we locked away our crayons at the end of 5th grade and decided that both our teachers and our inner critic were absolutely right. We’re no good at art. We may as well give up.

At least that’s what happened to me. I buried my creativity with my first period. It was time to grow up, leave the sandbox, the Lego castles and the Barbie dolls and stop playing.

But many of us find our way back to our creativity as we age. Suddenly, we start playing again. Maybe because we have more free time. The kids are older, we’ve transitioned into part time employment, or maybe we simply itch to explore other ways of relating to the world.

Re-connecting with your creativity can be life-changing. And it’s not just about enrolling in art classes and finally learning to sketch. It’s about learning to live more creatively. To be more spontaneous and quirky – why not wear green with blue? Or yellow with pink as one of our lovely retreat participants did!

Being creative means exploring new ways of connecting the dots, it’s an invitation be the kid in a sandbox again. Creativity  keeps us young and curious.

To give you an incentive to leap into your creativity, we’re offering newsletter subscribers an exclusive 10% discount Blissful Bali (23 - 29, June 2025) and Heavenly Hoi An (10 - 16 February, 2025) if you sign up before August 7.

Is it time you nurtured yourself with a creative writing holiday? Treat yourself to the writing holiday of a lifetime!

We understand that the cost of living has gone up for everyone, so please ask us about payment plans if you’re struggeling. Please note that we’ve added an extra night to both our Bali and Vietnam retreats, both now run for six nights. Sign-up for Incredible Italy and Beautiful Byron Bay will open as soon as our new website is live!

That’s it from me. Have fun writing. I’ll be back in your inbox at the end of August with a link to our new website (fingers crossed!).

Wishing you a great month ahead!

With many blessings,

PS: you can follow my journey on Instagram @kerstinpilz.author.

PPS: if you’d like to purchase a copy of my memoir, Loving My Lying Dying Cheating Husband (Affirm Press, 2024) in Australia, you can order it from Abbey’s bookshop or listen to the audio version now out on Audible (worldwide), narrated by the wonderful Jo van Es, or on Kindle. Readings ships hardcopies worldwide. If you’re in Germany, reply to this email and I can send you a copy!

And finally, if you’ve liked my book, please leave a review on Goodreads or Amazon. It doesn't have to be polished or very long, but it would mean the world to me! Thank you so much in advance.

NOW OPEN FOR BOOKINGS - 10% discount until August 7!

Heavenly Hoi An (February 10 - 16, 2025)

Blissful Bali (June 23 - 29, 2025)

MORE RETREATS IN 2025 (Sign-up & more info next month)

Incredible Italy (10-17 October, 2025)

Beautiful Byron Bay (7-12 November, 2025)

Please hit reply on this email if you’d like to be added to the waitlist (please provide name, email address and retreat location). Hope to meet you on retreat next year!

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