Staying grounded & focused in the new year

| JANUARY NEWSLETTER | Writing Prompts, Find Your Word, How to Stay Motivated When Things Are In Flux & Audio Book Giveaway

Dear reader,

and a warm welcome to new readers. I hope you’re feeling rested and buzzing with fresh energy as we begin the new year.

I’ve always liked the excitement that comes with the start a new year, the energy of a clean slate, a chance to rewrite our scripts.

This time I am starting the new year feeling deeply exhausted. If you are a regular reader, you’ll have noticed that I missed the December newsletter. Apologies, but I simply ran out of energy (to make up for it, there are plenty of writing prompts and tips below).

2024 was a very busy year—from breaking my foot, publishing and promoting my memoir to starting a new company and moving house. I’d been looking forward to a restorative break over the festive season. But there was one last thing I wanted to tick off my to-do list in 2024. I needed a new place to call home.

I’d been looking for months (years, if you count the time I researched this move). With only one month left before the year’s end, I needed to get serious. I rented an Airbnb in an inner city suburb that everybody said would be a perfect fit, but wasn’t. The universe was on my side and within moments of arriving, my phone pinged with a new listing in a beach-side neighborhood 25 minutes away.

I was instantly hooked by photos of a veranda clad in astro turf that made it look like a lush, hanging garden. Half an hour later an estate agent showed me through a fourth-floor apartment (I’d been looking for a house), in a suburb I’d never even considered (Palm Cove), with fake grass that didn’t look so great after all. But somehow, it felt right.

I remembered the advice of a good friend. ‘It only has to be 75% right.’ Three weeks later I had the keys to my new (hopefully forever) home. Just goes to show, if you put all of your energy into something, it can happen quickly!

Ripped the astro turf out on day one. All white, it looks a bit like a hospital.

The whole effort has left me in equal measure excited and depleted. There’s the physical exhaustion of packing and unpacking, dismantling and putting back together my 61-year-old life during a heatwave. Then there’s the emotional effort it takes to uproot a life and dive into the unknown. What if it doesn’t work out?

On my first night I slept through twenty attempted break-ins (it’s never happened before, I’ve been assured). On my second night I barely slept after an intoxicated Airbnb guest next door went berserk, screaming and pummeling the wall behind my bed. I doubt he knew I was there, but it felt safer to drag my air mattress into the living room. I spent the night wondering if I’d made a huge mistake.

On my third night I heard what sounded like burglars carrying an gigantic ladder through the shrubbery behind my building, on their way up four floors to my veranda to rob me of everything I had managed to cart upstairs. It took a while to realise that the sound of footsteps on dry shrub came from a family of wallabies that considers the gardens common property, not from a superman burgler.

Oh, and every morning my floors are littered with giant bugs that make scary hissing sounds. But since they’re no my bigger than my finger they should be scared of me, not me of them.

I am relieved to say that I’ve been sleeping well ever since those first two nights, especially after my new mattress arrived. The views of the mountain are soothing, the ocean only a short stroll away, and the swimming pool is abuzz with friendly women who give me their phone numbers and invite me for coffee and champagne (some have even read my book). I’m sure there’s a juicy plot for a novel in all the stories I pick up in the pool, but I’m too tired to write anything other than scribble in my journal (and now this newsletter).

Accepting change, I’ve come to realise, is also an exercise in trust. I had to trust my instinct (and the universe), that everything would work out; that the imperfect 25% (the one-lane highway that runs along the foot of the mountain behind the house), would be an acceptable compromise.

Strangely, I’ve been at peace with the highway from day one. It helps that the speed limit is 80 km/h, though it still gets noisy at times.

Strategies for staying grounded & focused in the new year

My strategy to make peace with the highway has been simple. I remind myself often that I am here by choice, that I choose to hear the birds, not the traffic. I choose to be happy with 25% not being right. I choose to focus on the abundance of natural light, the wallabies on the lawn, the grounding mountain within touching distance, the scent of jasmine wafting up from the garden below, the fact that I don’t have to maintain the garden, or the pool...

So far it’s been effective.

It’s one of several intentional strategies I’ve pulled out of the toolbox to help me stay in my centre while everything around me, including world politics, is in a state of disarray and beyond my control.

I’m sharing these intentional practices with you here as they’re helpful in creating good habits and intentions at the start of the new year (BTW, I choose to use all of January to start the new year; and I celebrate all over again at Lunar New Year on January 29).

Finding your WORD for the year

I can’t remember when I started this practice, but it remains one of my favorite. Unlike New Year’s resolutions, you can’t break a word, you can only break your word, your promise to yourself.

Your word for the year is intended to guide you through the next twelve months; it’s something you can pull up in a sticky situation, in the pause between stimulus and response, to help you stay grounded and in sync with your intentions.

My motto this year is:

I choose…

I choose how I want to feel this year.

I choose what I want to get upset about (ie. I’ll pick my battles).

I choose where I want to put my focus (the moment I focused exclusively on my goal— finding a new home—I found it!).

I choose joy over worry.

I choose…

Over to you. Here are your monthly writing prompts to help you choose a word for 2025 if you haven’t done so already, and to set intentions for a brand new year.

“I will not fall for any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, commitment phobics, people with girlfriends or wives, misogynists, megalomanics, chauvists, emotional fuckwits or freeloaders, perverts.”
― Helen Fielding (Bridget Jones’s Diary)

“I'm resolving to just wing it and see what happens.”
― Bill Watterson

What are your intentions for the new year?

Here’s a list of questions that I find useful to ask myself at the start of each year. Choose at random or work your way through the list. There are enough questions to keep you writing every day until the end of the month.

1. I will not fall for any of the following:…

2. I’m resolving to just…

3. What do I want to focus on this year?

4. What am I choosing to do more of/less of in 2025?

5. What no longer serves me? What can I let go?

6. What do I want to say yes to in 2025?

7. How do I want to feel this year?

8. What is something that I need to change this year?

9. What new questions do I need to ask myself?

10. What do I need to be happy this year?

11. What small actions can I take right now to feel good about myself this year?

12. What's something new I want to explore this year?

13. What stories do I want to write this year?

14. Where do I want to take my writing this year? (ie. do I want get serious about finishing a draft? Write a book proposal and send it out?)

15. How often can I realistically sit down to write?

    (Really think about this and then take action; even if that means getting up earlier, or keeping the phone switched off so that you use your time to write rather than browse Instagram).

16. What do I really want to write about?

I find it helps to set a timer and write like the wind, without thinking or editing, allowing the words to spill freely onto the page. That’s how we get to the juicy bits, the important parts, that our conscious mind conveniently tries to edit for us.

10 minutes is a good amount of time. Here’s a meditation to help you get into the flow.

You’ll be getting clear on your word (or motto), as you write. It can take one or two prompts or all of them. Don’t forget to share.

Share your word (and thoughts) in the comments

It means so much when my readers share their thoughts. I spend quite a bit of time on these newsletters, because I respect your inbox is precious. I am keeping this newsletter free for now, but you can pay me by leaving a comment (share your word in the comments section), or by ticking a ‘heart’ and sharing this post. This helps to make this free publication more visible to others and it creates conversation. Thanks so much.

Strategies for staying balanced and happy this year

Give gratitude

It’s such a simple practice that yields instant results. Saying thank you triggers happiness. Simple. I’m sure it’s even been scientifically proven. I choose happiness this year and I’m making a point to say thank you more often—in my mind, out loud, in the pages of my diary—to remind myself how lucky I am to be exhausted from setting up a new home, not from sleeping in a tent or a car, grateful to have found a new home during Australia’s worsening housing crisis, to have a choice when so many don’t.

Giving gratitude helps to keep things in perspective and to acknowledge all that is good in our lives. When we appreciate all the things and people that contribute to that goodness, we connect with something bigger than ourselves. It’s like a law of physics. Saying thank you can not NOT produce joy!

How you practice gratitude is up to you. I used to keep a gratitude journal during the most difficult times in my life. 5 Things I Am Grateful For. Right now, when I’m all out of sync, I simply stand on my new balcony first thing in the morning, take five long, slow, intentional breaths, my feet shoulder-width apart firmly planted on the dusty tiles in Tadasana pose. I watch the sky brighten over the east, then I turn towards the mountain in the west, my hands folded in prayer position in front of my chest, and I say thanks to the universe, the Djabuganydji people, the traditional owners of this land, to myself, and to my reliable car for getting me here.

Sunrise and sunset from my verandah

It’s nothing special, but it feels like a ritual that marks the shift into an intentional mindset.

If you’re warm, safe and well-fed, it always pays to say thank you, in whatever creative way you like. It keeps us humble and it makes us happier. And when things are difficult, it’s even more effective to remind ourselves that there are still good things in our lives.

I am grateful to have a home that I can decorate any way I want, even though painting it during a heatwave is a killer.

Create your personal sanctuary

A journal can be a sanctuary where we can retreat into the privacy of our own selves, and it fits into our handbags. A room is even better.

I am fortunate enough to have an entire room I can dedicate to my personal sanctuary. I call it the ‘wellness room’. It’s the first room I’ve set up because I needed a space where I can retreat and close the door to the outside world, to keep my energy levels in balance.

My sanctuary, the wellness room. Look at that view!

If you don’t have the luxury of a spare room, maybe you can find a corner in the living room, or in your study, or maybe in the garden, or on the veranda? It doesn’t take much. A candle, a yoga mat, a bolster, a journal, nice-smelling incense…set your phone to flight mode, wrap yourself in a do-not-disturb banner and focus on your breath. Becoming present, consciously slowing down. Sometimes five minutes are enough, followed by a few stretches on the yoga mat and some journaling. It’s so much easier than going to a class. No need for driving, parking, small talk, no time wasting (apart from the time spent procrastinating).

Here’s what I aim to do in my wellness room this year:

• 20 minutes of breath-focused meditation every day. It’s not a huge effort, but it soothes my nervous system and keeps me in balance.

• 30 minutes of yoga; I’ve had the same practice for the last 7 years, ever since I completed my teacher training. I try to follow the same simple Ashtanga sequence, but lately I’ve integrated 20 minutes of weight and core body strength training. Just simple things I learned at bootcamp. Doing weight bearing exercises when you’re over fifty is important. It helped get my bone density out of the red zone.

• 3 pages in my journal; Morning Pages is a foundational practice to untangle and record what’s inside of us. It’s especially useful for writers as it takes the pressure off. You don't need to write anything earth-shattering or sublimely beautiful, you're just writing for yourself, three pages in long hand every morning, and by doing so, you keep the writing muscle flexed. You’re actually starting the year with writing…!

Do a digital detox

I know, easier said than done, especially if you use social media for business, like I do. I’ve deleted Facebook from my phone this week. That’s a radical choice for me. While I miss the convenience of scrolling through Marketplace for second hand furniture, I love the freedom from addiction, from compulsively checking for updates and getting caught up in stories or posts (soon no longer to be fact-checked, thanks to Meta) that take up focus and attention I haven’t got.

My latest find on FB Marketplace before I deleted the app

For now I am keeping Instagram on my phone for business purposes. This forces me to be smarter about how often I look at my phone and I’ve come up with these simple rules (that I hope will become habits):

• switch phone off at 8pm (I’ve been pretty good at this)

• don’t turn it on again until after I’ve gone for a morning walk (I’ve been very bad at this; I like catching up with my family on the other side of the world).

• turn off all alerts (Done! No more beeping or pinging. From now on I choose when I look at my phone.)

I’m keen to hear about your strategies for living a better life with less digital addictions. Or if you know of any useful apps that work to reduce the digital information onslaught, please share in the comments.

Get moving

Routine and exercise have always been my key to happiness and to getting things done. For the last four years I’ve religiously attended early morning bootcamp three times a week. It gave me the routine I needed to write my book.

“Methinks that the moment my legs begin to move, my thoughts begin to flow.”

― Thoreau, Henry David

I now have a gym directly downstairs and I’d expected to go hard from day one, but I’ve been so very tired, I had to give my body a break. I’ve allowed myself to go gently this week and I’ve enjoyed long walks through my new neighborhood, listening to audio books, and to nature, consciously slowing down, a form of accelerated mindful walking.

Longevity studies show that regular walking is good for body and mind. Writers have always been fond of walking as a way of freeing ideas that our thinking minds can’t wrench up. Virginia Woolf apparently used to pace out the plots of her fictions as she walked, and one of her characters, Mrs Dalloway, famously strolls through London, a joy shared by the author.

If you’re not already a walker, why not start the year with a new morning routine of walking? 3km is a start, 5km at a brisk pace is even better, and apparently it also helps to keep Alzheimers’ away.

Tick something off your bucket list

Last year I ticked ‘publish a book’ off my bucket list. That was huge. I am not clear yet on what I want tick off my bucket list this year. It’ll have to be more modest, maybe a hike somewhere close by. What I like about the bucket-list is that it forces me to take notice of what I really want to do with that precious life of mine, what I choose to do this year with my spare time.

How about you? What do you want to tick off your bucket list this year?Is a writing retreat on your bucket list? Attending a retreat in early 2020 was life changing. It challenged me to commit to writing my book and I learned so many things without getting lost in endless Google searches.

If a writing and yoga retreat has always been on your list of things to do one day…why not make that one day a week in 2025! We’ve got one spot left at our Bali retreat (June 23-29) and two spots in our Italy (Tuscany!) retreat (October 10-17).

Writing Retreats 2025: Blissful Bali 23-30 June | Incredible Italy 10-17 October

Win a free copy of the audio version of my memoir

Finally, I gave away three hard copies of my memoir Loving My Lying Dying Cheating Husband to readers in Australia & NZ in December, and I promised to give away a free copy of the audio version in January to readers anywhere in the world. To win, please like this newsletter and leave a public comment underneath this newsletter on anything that spoke to you, or a question or suggestion you may have. It doesn’t have to be elaborate (one or two sentences), don’t overthink it!

I’ll randomly select a winner one week after this newsletter was first sent out (Monday 1st of Feb).

That’s it from me. Have a happy month and a happy, peaceful and safe new year!

And please keep your reader questions coming as I will resume the Reader Q&A in the next newsletter.

With many blessings,

PS: follow my journey on Instagram @kerstinpilz.author.

Heavenly Hoi An, Blissful Bali, Incredible Italy - will you joing us in 2025?

Heavenly Hoi An (February 10 - 16, 2025) SOLD OUT

Blissful Bali (June 23 - 29, 2025) I spot remaining

Incredible Italy (10-17 October, 2025) Book a double room with a friend and get 20% off (each). 2x spots remaining!